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by Boomert - The Sex Diaries by Bettina Arndt 13 Jan 2010
It’s an old story. The woman’s libido is snuffed like a candle, while the man’s wick keeps burning. How do couples cope with the ensuing frustration and hurt? To find out, sex therapist and social commentator Bettina Arndt asked 98 Australian couples to diarise their sexual negotiations and delights. The Sex Diaries details her findings, surveys the biological, social and psychological causes and effects of diminished desire, and sharply appraises the pharmaceutical and other ‘cures’ on the market. In the diaries, both genders express rage, bewilderment, fear, cruelty, bitterness and sorrow, with a vehemence and honesty that is often startling and sometimes disturbing. Also, great love and tenderness—contented couples showing what is possible. Arndt hovers at the conservative edge of sexual politics. (Remember her documentary on women who say ‘no’ but mean ‘yes’?) In The Sex Diaries Arndt proposes that, sometimes, women should ‘just do it’—and that orgasm may follow. She calls for compromise and kindness, not coercion or ‘duty sex’, but it’s a fine line and this book will be controversial. That aside, The Sex Diaries will help many couples understand their situation, and perhaps instigate change. Shelve this highly readable book with Rosie King’s Good Loving, Great Sex.

This review from Australian Bookseller & Publisher magazine (March 2009, Vol 88, No 6.) is reproduced by kind permission of Thorpe-Bowker, a division of R R Bowker LLC. © Copyright 2008, Thorpe-Bowker.

Author Biography: Bettina Arndt
Bettina Arndt is a sex therapist, journalist and clinical psychologist. She writes mainly in the areas of men, marriage, sex, commitment, ageing, fathering and fertility.

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