You Can't Say That to Me by Suzette Haden Elgin
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You Can't Say That to Me
By Suzette Haden Elgin

You Can't Say That to Me

Stopping the Pain of Verbal Abuse - An 8-Step Program

By (author) See other recent books by Suzette Haden Elgin
Format: Paperback

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You Can't Say That to Me by Suzette Haden Elgin

Book Description

You can't say that to me! "Can't you do anything right?" "I can't believe you would feed that junk to your child!" "What is this? And don't tell me it's a casserole, I already know that." "If you really cared about me, you wouldn't behave this way." Sound familiar? Each of us occasionally feels the sting of very unpleasant language from those who are closest to us--spouses, employers, friends, relatives. But frequent and repeated use of unanswerable questions, scalding accusations, sarcasm, insinuations, and even icy silence is more than simply unpleasant; it is abusive, destructive, and frequently leads to escalating arguments and physical violence. Suzette Haden Elgin, creator of the "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense," has developed a unique and revolutionary way to break the cycle of verbal violence and eliminate it from your life--without ruining your marriage, risking your job, or alienating friends or loved ones. Dr. Elgin shows you how to neutralize verbal attacks and discourage future abuse with: An 8-step program that helps you recognize the patterns of verbal abuse Specific language techniques that enable you to avoid escalating arguments and break the cycle of abuse using skills you already possess Questionnaires and diaries that help you analyze abusive situations, evaluate your responses to them, and track your progress In this book Dr. Elgin proves that verbal abuse is not caused by human nature, but by language. She helps you discover that you are an expert in your own language, already highly qualified to solve this problem for yourself, quickly and forever.

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Book Details

ISBN: 9780471003991
ISBN-10: 0471003999
Format: Paperback
(228mm x 154mm x 16mm)
Pages: 224
Imprint: John Wiley & Sons Inc
Publisher: John Wiley and Sons Ltd
Publish Date: 23-Mar-1995
Country of Publication: United States

Other Editions...


Books By Author Suzette Haden Elgin

Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work by Suzette Haden Elgin Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work, Paperback (June 2003)

This text shows how to defend oneself against verbal abuse, including casual racist or sexist language, and explains how to use e-mail and voice-mail to handle sensitive issues.

Language Imperative by Suzette Haden Elgin Language Imperative, Paperback (December 2000)

How multilingualism enhances the human experience and why our decisions about "English Only" language policies are shortsighted.

Grandmother Principles by Suzette Haden Elgin Grandmother Principles, Paperback (January 2000)

Combining both the wit and wisdom of the author who is a grandmother of ten, this guide to grandmothering skills covers communication, coping with emergencies and recording family history.

How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable by Suzette Haden Elgin How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable, Paperback (April 1997)

Disarming communication tactics from the bestselling author of The Gentle Art of Verbal Self--Defense In every aspect of our lives we have to deliver or respond to negative messages at times--whether it's giving an employee a poor appraisal or disciplining a child or defending our political or religious beliefs from attack.

» View all books by Suzette Haden Elgin

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Author Biography - Suzette Haden Elgin

SUZETTE HADEN ELGIN, Ph.D., is an expert in applied psycholinguistics and the founder of the Ozark Center for Language Studies. She is the author of eight "Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense" titles, including Genderspeak: Men, Women, and the Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense, also published by Wiley. She lives with her family near Huntsville, Arkansas.

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Recent books by Suzette Haden Elgin close
Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense at Work by Suzette Haden Elgin
Language Imperative by Suzette Haden Elgin
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How to Disagree without Being Disagreeable by Suzette Haden Elgin
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